First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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