I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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