I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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