New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize