So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
