I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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