Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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