White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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