I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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