waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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