She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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