I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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