They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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