I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
