I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
