how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize