When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
