I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
