Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
