i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
