Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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