Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
