Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
