Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
