I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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