4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
