She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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