the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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