just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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