I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We need a shit load of segways right now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
