somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
