you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
