at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
