I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
