and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
tell me about the fingering
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
