I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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