i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
