woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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