honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
