I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
