wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize