pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
