just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
