mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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