I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
