Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
