I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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