My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize