I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
