I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
