We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
