if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that is very illegal...i love you.
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