i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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