youre lurking in front of me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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