her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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