some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
