What did we do last night that was yellow?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
