I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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