are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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