she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girls should come with a carfax report
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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