Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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