I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
